Teenage Romance…
Teenage romance is a knavish emotion that marks the ripe stages of puberty. The common misconception is that it’s love. For the majority of situations, no; it is a lovey-dovey intimacy between two people who usually think their significant other is “hot”. True love is completely different. It’s not when the significant other is just “hot”, but beautiful. The catch with teenage romance is since it’s so sudden, it’s mistaken for love.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with teenage romance. It’s perfectly normal. In fact, it’s a good thing. It shows that there’s no total rejection in a person’s heart. When faced with these feelings, always accept them. Doubt makes the emotions painful. It can eat the inner fibers of a human if not handled appropriately. The best step to follow is to have an initiative, complaining never leads anywhere. It doesn’t matter if the person in mind is in a different “league”. If the connection seems strong enough, asked him or her out.
The main fear is rejection. Think about it. Who wants to deal with it? However, if looked at intimately, what’s the worst that can happen beside the person saying a flat no? He or she won’t slap you, or start to convulse at the thought of your question. So what if the person is the most social butterfly on the planet? Or maybe he or she’s dated dozens of other people. What difference does it make? It’s impossible to predict what will happen, so just go with gut instincts, because it usually invokes the right answer.
Of course, there should be some thinking behind the process. Not to the point of overloading, but to the point where there’s a sense of what should be done. There’s no point of going for gut instincts if there’s no maturity behind the instincts. Some basic tips should be laid out. Don’t just tell the person “I like you”, and expect him or her to instantly fall head over heels. If anything, pop the question: “Want to go out?” Not necessarily like that, but eventually, you should get to the question.
There is one word you should watch out for: the F-word… friend. That’s a polite way of saying no. For example, “I only see our relationship as friends.” This doesn’t mean the person utterly despised the idea of a relationship. Maybe he or she isn’t ready for anything serious at the moment. If he or she says she’s flattered, you’ve impacted the person in a significant manner. That is to say, there was a mark of pure interest left in the individual, which means something was said correctly.
The one way to make everything is laid out correctly is to be honest. Don’t over-think at all. That leads to over-complicating the matter, which is a definite no-no. Speak from the heart, not the mind, when it comes to these situations. If the person completely rejects you, it was never worth it. As much as it might hurt to hear that, he or she just wasn’t worthy of what was being offered… period.
Looking back, it may seem as if the advice is for people in love. Technically, learning how to deal with teenage romance leads to maturity in romance. So, in a sense, both yes and no. Nonetheless, learning the basics for romance, simple or complicated, helps for future situations where the first decision is a mystery. To end on a positive note… good luck to you.
Ohh let me lay it out for you bro.
Infatuation is a bitch, but at the same time it’s one of the best feelings. Giving in may or may not be the best course of action, one has to exercise a healthy amount of logic. A guy (or girl) may be unspeakably hot, but could have no real substance. Yet infatuation almost always finds its start in supposed “hotness” and sometimes one or two personality-based qualities. We construct idealized versions of the person, and it is that person to whom we become attracted. If you think I’m completely pulling this out of my (insert synonym for derriere of choice here), it’s all biology m’dear.
Yes, physical attraction forms the cornerstone of a lot of relationships, but doesn’t define all. Yet one can’t deny that physical attraction is completely out of the equation; it’s always there in some quantity. Again, it’s biology.
You are right when you say rejection isn’t the end of the world, because it isn’t. Of course, it’s easier said than done. Who wants to hear the person they have put on a pedestal dash their dreams? Not many people. In reality though, there really are “many fish in the sea” and sometimes you gotta take rejections in stride, understand where you may have gone wrong, and move on.
Hm I think it’s fair to say I’d get weirded out if a guy just flat out asked me out. Break the ice a little, get to know the person, be sure of your feelings and make sure that person’s aware as well. Take your time.
I can’t say teenage romance is always something destined for swift dissolution once the hormones wear off. Sometimes there’s something very real, as evidenced by several couples I know who have either gotten engaged or married in recent months and had their start in high school. Yet all teenage couples shouldn’t necessarily head into relationships thinking they’ve found “the one.” They’re young, and usually, it’s puppy love. It’s something that sometimes needs to happen, if anything, as a learning experience.
So here’s how I see it, in short. Be aware of your feelings and try to remain a little logical (hard as it may be). Be positive about your prospects, but not delusional. Take your time getting to know someone you may be crushing on and be honest about your feelings when the time is right. Most importantly, though, enjoy the experience but don’t put so many expectations on the relationship unless it’s been through several months, maybe years.
The great Amanda Leigh has spoken… *tear*… that was beautiful, again…
Yeah that’s my basis already, but credit certainly goes to you.
Hey there buddy :]
I just have to disagree with Ethan, because you got it right on.
Coming from a person who has PLENTY of experience, an opposing gender, and a great sense of being in ’someone else’s shoes’, I have a pretty good understanding of teens and their hormones. The majority of teens base their interest in someone on how they look, even if it’s only the initial attraction.
Now, onto what I’m here for
I suggest you write an entry on the word Love, on how the word and the meaning are abused by teens in lust.
This is how I see things:
The word is like a dollar bill
The meaning is the gold backing it up.
The more and more paper money you print, the less gold can be put behind it, therefore the bill is worth less,
but if we were to take a billion dollars and burn it, there would be more gold backing up the other leftover bills.
Meaning, if we save the word ‘love’ for when we really mean it, it’ll mean more.. If we just throw it away on those teen romances, you lose your sense of what love really is and is supposed to be.
You could use that as a basis. Just be sure to credit me
Hahaha yeah why not? =P
Twilighters should read this
You mean think their significant other is only hot? It depends, I can’t exactly put a number on it. But it does happen. I would think it happens with certain marriages between couples who wed in their teens. But that’s kind of going off topic.
And how many married couples do the same thing?
Just to note again, the point of the “hot” sentence isn’t necessarily that they think the significant other is hot, it’s that they think they’re in love, but that’s the reality of it sometimes, not all of the time.
I’m not saying everyone thinks about “hot” first. But let’s be serious, how many times can you recall a guy friend mentioning a girl, how hot she is, and then gruesomely describing his fantasies? That’s where that specific sentence came from.
Yes, love is subjective, but teenagers sometimes don’t know how to deal with their feelings, which was where the intent of the post sprouted from.
Nope, I disagree, and as a person with no experience in the matter, you should be ashamed at making such a statement. I don’t think about hot first, as you might know. I think about people who are emotionally comforting. Love is too subjective anyway. So, I’m going to have to call bullshit on this one bro.